More Thoughts

September 29, 2008


A few days ago, I commented on how difficult it is for me to choose a major; however, I had one in mind the whole time. I want to major in music because I enjoy playing and I love to teach it. Since January of this year, I have been teaching young students how to play the piano. I started out with five students, which is a very good start. However, because of the economy, I lost three students. Many people do not want to continute taking lessons because it is just a hobby or extracurricular activity, and besides, gas prices are so high. Wherever I go, I hear of private music teachers that lost a lot of students. Above all of the conflict, I still want to go further and get a degree in music. Is it crazy?


To me, playing music is like writing in a journal. It's therapy. Furthermore, it puts me in a good mood whenever I play or even listen.


There is a song in the radio that I always have stuck in my head.


"Whatever you're doing inside of me,
it feels like chaos but somehow it seems
you're up to something bigger than me
larger than life, something heavenly."


I live each day contemplating those lyrics because although life get tough, God has a plan.




September 30, 2008


I must admit, being a mom is the hardest thing that I ever had to do. My son is only 3 years old, and he is constantly telling me that he hates me. At first I think nothing of it, but then I think that maybe 10 or 15 years from now, he might mean it. He hates me when I don't give him candy, toys, when I don't let him stay up late. I try to explain that I do it for his own good, but how do you explain something like that to a toddler. How will they understand?


I know that I cannot mold or program my son into what I want him to be because the truth is, I want him to choose the kind of person that he wants to be, and I'll love him no matter what. Hopefully, I'll never forget to tell him that. I just hope that I have been a positive influence on him.

October 3, 2008

I have noticed a lot of changes since my son has turned three. The main thing that I notice is that he needs to be around his peers. He is so hyperactive and he does not know what to do with himself when he and I are home. Each day I have to let him grow up a little bit more, and it is so hard for me to do; however, it is best for him.

My Personal Thoughts of the Week

September 24, 2008

My Birthday

My 23rd birthday just passed, and it was a day to remember. My family and I went to the Redondo beach pier where we rode speed boat and had a delightful dinner. I chose to ride the speed boat instead of the nature cruise because I know how much my little boy loves a thrill. My son is the kind of boy who won't stop talking and smiling, but during the ride he was speechless, and I caught him trying to hide his smile. It was a new experience for our family, I can't wait for the next adventure to come. One of the highlights of the night was the wonderful dinner that we had. Me and my sister had sunrise sushi (I love sushi, by the way) while my son had his favorite hot dog on a stick and lemonade.

I've had many birthdays that I have forgotten, and I do not want to forget these precious moments because time is going by too fast. My son is already 3 years old and I'm already 23! I wish time would slow down a little.

A Special Quote

I wanted to share an interesting quote that I encountered in the Bible. This quote is in the book Song of Songs 2-2:7

"Do not arouse, do not stir up love before its own time."

This quote was interesting to me because I mentioned earlier that I wish that time would slow down, and then I read this verse. It realize that I am always in a rush: in a rush to finish school, to find a better job, to buy a home, etc. I am making time go by too fast by looking too much into the future, and what I need to do is slow down and live each day as it is.

Another idea I got from this quote is there are things in life that I need to be patient for without anticipating it.

September 25, 2008

I do not know why, but I am having the most difficult time choosing a major. I already chose my major for my associate's degree, but I feel that it is very important to continue my education at a University. What I had in mind was either majoring in nursing or English. My insecurities often keep me from doing what I really want to do, but in this case, the problem is that I do not know what I really want. In addition I think that a job is a job, and a career is just a job. I have seen what happens when people choose their careers above everything else, and I do not want that to happen to me. However, I need to provide for my family. I am so confused.

September 26, 2008

So much has been on my mind lately, mostly about my financial situation. It seems that if I want to have a good job I have to sacrifice my time with my son. In addition, I could only receive the pell grant if I am a full-time student, which also requires less time with my family.

To make matters worse, I no longer qualify for medi-cal, food stamps, or other necessities. I only make $6,000 a year! People make that much money in a month. Something has to be done because I cannot live like this. Government aid is suppose to help families get back on their feet, but having a little money saved or owning a car does not mean that they could no longer have health insurance.

Life After High School

Did you ever think what life would be like after high school? This is what I pictured: I would be a successful career woman with a beautiful house, fancy car, and I would travel around the world. None of that came true. However, it is not since my son was born that I learned the importance of family and simplicity, and I would not have it any other way.





I have a son, a boyfriend, and soon-to-be stepson. My family is my pride and joy and they have made me a better person in so many ways. The purpose of my blogs is to reflect on my day-to-day life and find ways to grow into a better person and to become better mother.





September 19, 2008


Lately I have noticed that my son has been upset at me. I feel that my volunteer work and my job have been interfering a bit. Perhaps he is upset because I leave before he wakes up and he does not get to hear me say, "Goodbye, I love you, I'll be back soon." Since he is 3 years old, he does not know if I will be back, and that tears me apart. However, I need to support him, and I have the most convenient job that anyone could think of. (I only work 3 hours a day, and I get summers and winter off.)





What I need to do is give him attention without spoiling him, which is a very difficult thing to do. I hope that he can be happier with me. Perhaps he is just being a toddler and throwing tantrums because that is what toddlers do sometimes. That is what people say. But I don't know if I should take their word for it.